Ok, so what young child be a girl or boy didn't have a diary or journal? What adult doesn't have one now? I had maybe four and five and maybe wrote two pages in each and stopped. Today, however I decided to change that.
I woke up like I do on any other day my alarm going off once again reminding me I'm a responsible person now. Six years in the business of helping others and I'm ready to retire already. I've grown tired of having to get up out of the comfort of my bed. Having to dress professionally and smile when what I really want to do is take a nap. I grew tired of having to get to work. Why can't I just wake up when my body is good and ready and then go to work on my computer in my apartment. Maybe it's the commute of getting to work that's dragging me down. Or maybe it's the feeling that despite my recent raise it still feels as though it's not enough. Could my overspending have something to do with that? Maybe. However, to my defense I have gotten better with my money saving, and paying for more needs than wants. Yet still I feel like it's not enough.
Dang, lost my train of thought. Be warned it will happen often but not too often that it gets annoying. Also be warned that my mind jumps and so there is no topic that won't be touched and the flow of things might get silly at times.
Anyways, where I was going earlier was that I have this feeling that my job might be the issue. But I don't believe that. I love this job. The flexibility of it. The ease of it. The friendliness of my co-workers on and off the job site. I like them and the position I'm in. So maybe my issue is with myself. I know this isn't a job I want to grow old in but I have no plans of leaving soon (unless I hit the lottery big time).
Side Note: Yes, I'm at work right now. Sitting in my little office. Lucky enough to have two screens going. Can't figure out how I was living before working with only one. My work is spread out in front of me on my grey boring desk. Not much color in here. Which is sad cause I would love to walk into color everyday. Maybe the grey adds to my feeling of unhappiness.
I've be calling the feeling so many other different things than unhappiness and here in my writing it feels right to describe this as such.
Maybe the writing is helping out already.
Gotta go be a grown -up talk soon.